“I think it’s about forgiveness, even if, even if, you don’t love me anymore.” Don Henley
There are so many reasons why we do not forgive. Old loves that are gone seem closer if we hold onto the hurt they left us with. If we forgive them, we let go of them, and sometimes we aren’t ready to do that.
Few medical doctors would admit to a diseased heart being caused by a broken heart. In my work with people, I find many who are actually dying with congestive heart failure because they have not forgiven someone or something. The heart is a muscle, and if it isn’t exercised both physically and emotionally, it can get out of shape, harden, and no longer work well enough to sustain our bodies. It is important to remember that here on planet earth we live in a world of duality, where there is good and evil, light and dark, big and small, broken hearts and broken blood vessels. Statements that define exact opposites very well could be different parts of the same elephant. To me it is comforting to accept this, and realize there is another place higher above, where the very things that seem opposite of each other are parts of the same whole.
When we don’t forgive someone, it hardens a part of us. It also ties us to the moment when this incident happened, which becomes the past. Having struggled with the subject of forgiveness for years, it isn’t a popular way to handle things in our present culture. This is the age of revenge, of getting even. The number of patients with heart disease correspond with burgeoning accuracy. The heart is a muscle to be exercised, to be worked out just like your bicep muscle. When you don’t forgive, the heart contracts, and stays there. Not forgiving connects the heart to fear, anger, bitterness and revenge. Past eras in the United States have handled forgiving and letting go in more gracefully and healthier way than we do today.
When Bobby Kennedy was assassinated in the 60’s, his family immediately forgave his killer, knowing that if they didn’t, the man would have killed more than just Bobby. The family grieved, openly forgave, and moved into the present moment. They knew it would be a travesty to Bobby’s life’s work to go on a revenge hunt. No one had more of a reason to be full of vengeful hatred than the Kennedy’s, yet they forgave, and in that forgiving healed themselves and the nation.
When a horrible thing happens to us, we always have a choice. Many people think that they don’t, perhaps because the choices are a long shot, or not palatable or they are driven totally by their emotions. However, you ALWAYS have a choice. That is why we are here: to experience free will, which means making choices.
Your choice includes how you think, but also how you feel about the incident. Whether or not to stay in that moment for the next 50 years, or let go of it, cut your losses. Do not allow the incident to take one more drop of time, energy, emotion or future. For that is absolutely what unforgiveness does, it steals the future from you.
Forgiveness is not about the other person: it is about you. It is you saying that you care so little about the other person you will never think of them again. Think about that statement. In fact, do what I did, MEMORIZE that statement.
If you are holding a grudge- think about it now. Think of all the time you have spent thinking about the issue, being angry, thinking about getting back at the person, evening the score, what exactly the score entails. Now, realize that is time you will never get back. It is time you could have used to create something; to take a friend, spouse or child for a walk or to the zoo, time that you could have spent LIVING in the present moment instead of stewing about the past. Because that is what every unforgiveness is about: THE PAST. We carry it into the future in our minds.
A newly announced intuitive, I was at a drugstore one day picking up a prescription. The pharmacy tech was visibly upset, so I asked her what was wrong. She replied that her mother was in the hospital diagnosed with congestive heart failure, and only a few days to live.
I said I was sorry to hear of her woes, and I hoped for the best for her mother. I then left the pharmacy, and walked towards the store exit. Halfway down an aisle, I got received a download. All of a sudden I knew about the woman and her mother. I went back to the pharmacy and told the woman to call me, that I had information for her.
We spoke for three hours that night. Debbie’s spirit guides were lively, pushy, and concrete. Her mother needed to forgive someone that was why she was in heart failure.
I then learned that Debbie’s brother had been murdered, and that her mother had never forgiven the murderer. The guides said this is why her mother’s heart was failing; it had hardened from lack of forgiveness. Debbie was told she had to go to the hospital and convince her mother to drop all her grievances and forgive everyone in her life, especially the murderer.
Debbie had never stood up to her mother, and was in no hurry to change. The guides blatantly stated that if Debbie did not do this for her mother, she might as well stay at home the rest of her life in the Barrcolounger eating Cheetos. If she didn’t stand up to her mother now, she would never do anything of consequence. I felt like an incredibly mean thug, channeling information I myself would never say out loud. Debbie was a crying, sobbing, mess when we got off the phone, and I felt like a heel. (I always say what the guides say pretty much verbatim, because I don’t KNOW what they are talking about enough to edit it, and the fact that they work with God lets me give them the benefit of the doubt. The exception to this is when I am shown graphic videos: most of the time I see no need to pass them on blow by blow).
For the next two weeks I didn’t see Debbie. I wouldn’t have blamed her if she didn’t talk to me again, the session was that rough. Amazingly, when I did see her, she was beaming.
“My mother went home the day after I talked to her about forgiving” Debbie told me, “and she has gone from death’s door, with congestive heart failure class 4, to a class 2. Her forgiving led the way to a magical recovery”.
Debbie stayed home and cried the whole day after we talked, then she got up her nerve and talked to her mom. The results impacted both of their lives significantly and permanently.
Debbie’s mom is still going strong, seven years later. Debbie’s mother was my first client saved by forgiving, but not the last. Many clients have had heart disease, only to see it magically get better when they forgive and turn the evidence of the situation over to God.
This where seeing an intuitive instead of a therapist is a far better choice. An intuitive channels your guides, so knows what your situation is & how you feel about it. The therapist asks to see you for 6 months to find out about your situation, then ASKS you how you feel about it. A therapist can & will talk about your issues ad nausea. But a difference in your life is made only when you turn your attitudes, emotions and the situation over to God, asking him to take it from you & replace where it was with the love & light of God.
“You are so powerful, you can chose bondage if you wish” Abraham, as channeled thru Ester Hicks, “Ask & it is Given
This brings up a very important point. We co-create our reality. So- if we believe we are in charge of our lives, that we are victims and incidents happen TO us instead of THRU us, then that will be what we see. Again, we fragment and disconnect from the true reality, the cause and affect of the universe, and that energy comes back to us seemingly random, like a car accident or being attacked by a mugger. Now that I have accepted that life is cause & effect, I see it everyday functioning in my life. I know the freedom from turning an incident over to God, and letting go of judgment. My believe is that we are not here on earth to judge ourselves or others, and that is an action best left to God. I have had incidents in my life that have affected me greatly, and I turn them over to God, without judging the people involved, only to look at them later and not have the anger or emotion.
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Enjoy, Ann
Two people intnatsly come to mind when I think forgiveness My husband and my step-dad. All through high school, my step-dad (who has now admitted to this, since finding Christ) did everything in his power to make my life harder. I was already struggling with depression and self-esteem issues because I had just started to really make friends when they decided to get married. We had to move to the other side of the country. I had an even harder time making friends in California. I didn’t agree with a lot of things my peers were doing, I was extremely shy and just packed on another shell to hide my true self when we moved, and on top of that, my step-dad refused to ever let me leave the house without the rest of the family. He has changed a lot, but in some ways he hasn’t. I still have some problems with him, although I’ve learned better, more mature ways to deal with these problems. I’ve forgiven him for a lot but I am definitely still a long way from the end of that journey. As for my husband, we have just had a LOT f ups and extreme downs. With both people I listed, there was a lot of emotional/psychological abuse as well as small amounts of physical abuse. That is something that I have always been afraid of and felt I would never be able to forgive someone for. I CAN’T forgive someone for it. However, I have given it to God and he can cleanse that from our lives and our minds. Things are not fully resolved, but we are working to eliminate these things and to forgive and leave the past in the past.
I’ll tell you what I have really been denlaig with a garden of bitterness in my life and I didn’t even know it was there. Just a few weeks ago, in a spirit of prayer, I asked God to reveal things that were blocking my life and one was a big patch of bitterness. Whew! As soon as I acknowledged it, I felt that instant burning sensation that comes with remembering the wrongs done to me and I asked God to forgive me for harboring resentment and even hatred and asked Him to remove those weeds from my life. It was a process one I’m still undergoing but God is good. Forgiving someone who wronged me long ago with whom I have no contact any longer came with a humongous sense of RELIEF! A burden rolled away and I have actually felt a deeper connection with the Lord. More than anything, I realized just how much my selfishness and pride (which demanded retribution) kept me from an intimate walk with my Lord.I have to regularly ask HIM to reveal these areas in me. I walked for a long time without even knowing they were there whether I tried to just ignore them first, I can’t even remember but I ask God to SHOW ME where I need to take a rake and cut back the weeds that keep me from HIM and HIS PLANS for me.